Burden of Guilt
by Everbreed
Summary: This fic is about a alternate story line where leon has a hidden burden of guilt he carrys.Please R&R! i dont get it? everyone reads this story but no one Reviews, people give me some feed back!
1. Default Chapter

The Burden of Guilt (chapter 1)  
'What am I doing ? Im to young for this shit' Thought Leon as he slumped down against the brick ally wall. 'Isn't this what you wanted , to save people?' Leon thought questioning himself. Leon sat in a dark ally near the police station. A cold wind was blowing threw the ally rustling nearby debris. 'I should just leave...no I cant do that...Clair must already be at the RPD.' he thought looking down at his gun in hand. 'Besides if any ones still alive there depending on me , probably the only cop left in this dam city'.

Leon got to his feet , he put his hands on his waist and stretched his back.  
'ive got to get there, before Clair thinks Im dead' thought Leon as he walked out around the corner of the ally. 'If I remember right, this ally here next to grill 13 leads to the RPD, ive got to be on my toes , these things are everywhere, last thing this town needs is another walking dead officer.' Leon thought as he made his way threw the dark grill 13 ally. Only several steps into the ally a figure rushed towards him. "shit" Leon screamed as he pulled the trigger of his H&K, BANG. the shadowy figure dropped with a thud back into the shadows. 'Dam that was close' Leon thought as he prepared to move around the side of the corpse.

"O god" Leon gasped as the corpse came into view. The corpse was no zombie , it was a young women , who obviously wasn't the walking dead.  
"o shit what have I done!" he yelled as he dropped his gun and knelt besides the Young women. Leon grabbed the young women's arm and began to shake her. "Hey, ...Hey!...come on,..Damit" Leon screamed as tears began to build up in his eyes. After Leon had checked her pulse and was sure she was gone he stood back up and wiped the tears from his eyes.

'Some fucking cop you are , Im such a idiot ,...dam it" Leon thought to himself as he walked to a nearby door stoop and sat down. 'What am I goanna do,...what is there to do , I fucked up big time...Im no cop, What kind of cop shoots civilians...' .Leon had his head hung in his hands. 'Its not my fault though , I dint think ...I dint know, I cant change it now'. Leon looked back towards the corpse of the women and noticed her purse beside her. 'No , don't do it ...there's no point she's dead its not goanna matter who she is now. Leon sat there for several minutes looking at the purse , it was black and the strap had little studs on it.

Finally Leon couldn't help himself he got up and walked over to the purse.  
'I don't think this is such a good idea , but I just got to see' Leon said as he grabbed the purse and opened it, and after fumbling around for a few moments Leon brought out a little neon green change and credit card pouch, with a flower on it. Leon opened it up and brought out what looked like a ID card .The card said "Jill Valentine S.T.A.R.S." "O god she was a member of stars" Leon whispered as he turned away from the corpse. He had tears coming down his face again. Leon turned around looking down at the girl , she was wearing a blue tube top and black minni skirt.

'I killed a cop' ... 'She's dead ,...I killed her' Leon thought as he brushed his sweaty hair back in a stressed out way. As Leon was looking down at Jill he realized she had dropped something else. Leon crouched down and picked up what looked like a journal. 'Great what am I doing , trying to get to know the person I just murdered' Leon thought as he opened the journal to the last entry. It said "Farewell to my life this is my last escape". Leon dropped the journal , and stumbled back as he choked back tears. 'Maybe if I can get Clair out of here , it'll be worth it ...yaknow if I save some one ...maybe it will be like a balance, maybe it'll make what ive done.  
at least little bit expectable...I don't know what else to think, ive got to find Clair'. Leon grabbed up his gun and fled out the back of the ally.

End of Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2

The Burden Of Guilt -  
chapter 2

(just as leon finds ada again , he gets shot by a mysterous women . Ada runs after her and soon leon finally sees clair again , clair decides to trail after ada and the mysterous women,  
leon soon recovers from the bullet.)

'I've failed again, Clair ...Ada ...there probably dead because of me...just like Jill'  
thought Leon. Leon was propped up against the wall at the intersection that lead towards the underground passage. 'im such a failer , ive all ways failed...why...why did I think that becoming a cop would change that ...I don't know, but if there still alive I must go after them.  
Leon got to his feet , his arm still hurt from the bullet wound...but Leon dint care , his life no longer matter. Leon stumbled down the hall in the direction the two girls had headed.

Latter that night.

(in leons search for ada and clair he stumbles upon somthing)

BANG-BANG , the bullets shot forth into the giant umbrella creature , sending thick blood spraying to the catwalk witch they stood on. 'shit...its no use this thing isn't going down. What is it?' Leon thought as he backed away fumbling for another clip of ammunition. It was then that Leon realized that this creature was to close to him. 'shit this is it...this is the end...the end that I disserve' thought Leon as he dropped the pistol and waited for the final blow. but before the pistol even hit the ground,  
Leon heard Adas voice. "No! Leon" Ada screamed as she ran towards the giant creature. "Ada no! don't"  
Leon screamed as he held out his hand signaling for Ada to leave. But it was no use Ada came running toward the creature . Gun drawn , as she ran forth she shot once, shot twice , shot three times and then her gun clicked empty.

But Ada dint even hesitate she threw her gun down and leapt forth onto the creatures back. The creature screeched as it thrashed about , and then lost its balance. As Leon watched it seemed everything was in slow motion , the giant creature fell back against the rail. The rail snapped and Leon watched unable to move from shock as he watched The creature with the still clinging Ada flop off the catwalk. Leon finally managed to get to his feet and run over to where they fell . As he looked over the side , it dawned on him that he had just killed again...again his incompetence as a police officer had gotten another killed. As he peered down he could see that Adas fate had been sealed , below them was a giant boiling pot of some Chemical. Leon backed away not wanting to look , as if somehow looking at the boiling pot , just made him more responsible. 'why...not again...nobody had to die, why does everyone die, just like mom'  
Leon thought as he felt the cold liquid run from his eyes. 'and now what Leon ...huh whats the next bright idea...yha im just goanna sit here and cry like it'll make a difference in what ive done.' thought Leon.

Just then bright flashing red lights came on followed by a women's calm voice. "To all personnel the self destruct sequency has been activated , please proceed to the tram exit." the voice clicked off. "The Tram"  
Leon said as though he had some idea. 'if Clair is still alive that's were she would have gone with sherry'  
Leon thought as he wasted no time heading towards the exit.

"Shit!" Leon yelled as he ran into the tram exit , only to realize it was leaving and fast to. "Leon, hurry"  
screamed Clair from a opened tram car. 'I have to make it ...for Clair.' Leon thought as he ran towards the open tram door, he was running so fast he was pumping his legs for speed, all he could see as he ran towards the open tram door was just that , all else seemed to be blurred, probably from his fast sate of sprinting.

'o god...please make it...I don't know what ill do if you don't...Leon' thought Clair as she held the door open and stared ...just hoping they would walk away from this nightmare together. Leon was coming up to the tram fast, even though the tram was moving forward Leons speed of sprinting was a greeter speed then the still warming up tram. 'yes ...he's close enough ,were goanna make it.  
together' Clair thought as she reached out and grabbed leons arm and with leons combined strength and hers Leon was up and in , just in time to, seeing that the tram was just now picking up speed. "Thank god ...its over, we've made it" Clair said as she embraced Leon in her arms. "hey what about me" squeaked sherry. "hey sherry , have you been taking care of Clair for me" smiled Leon. "off course" Smiled sherry proudly , as she winked to Clair. 'Its finally over...but not for Jill or Ada...not for me, I just cant live like this, knowing that my life is at the expense of there's, it should be the other way around.' Leon thought as he peered out one of the tram windows, after some time past the tram started slowing down as they for a instant became blinded by a bright light. They had come out of the tram tunnel and were now coming to a stop.

The three of them opened the tram door and steped out onto a dirt path probably leading to a road. "well lets follow it and hope it doesn't lead back to Raccoon" Exclaimed Clair as she grabed sherry hand and led the way.

Later down the path.

"I see a clearing of trees up ahead , its probably a road." said Clair as she held Sherry's hand tight, Leon was at there side. But just then a rustling came from a collection of bushes just next to the trail. "you bitch"  
screamed a women in a blood stained white lab coat. She was holding a gun pointed at Clair. "Annette you've made it out alive!" said Clair still confused by Annette's tone of voice. "Shut up! just shut up.  
you ruined everything , even after all my attempts to stop umbrella from getting the G-Virus , you just come along and grab it, you could have just taken it from sherry and let her be...but no umbrella wants everything from me...even sherry, well not this time" screamed the incoherent Annette. "Mommy your scaring me" Sherry yelled anxiously. "sherry come over her to mommy, that lady is bad, she's a spy,  
from umbrella." snapped Annette. "That's not true , just listen to me , im just a civilian" Pleaded Clair.  
"Don't you lie to me, that's all umbrella is good for is lies and murder, I bet you would turn my daughter into one of your experiments , sherry dint you hear me come over here now!" yelled Annette.

"No mommy I want to stay with Clair...she's not a spy...she's" Sherry said but was cut off by her agitated mother. "Quite sherry , you listen to me, now come over here before her and her partner try to hurt you." spat Annette almost in a rage. "listen will you just calm down , Clair is not a spy , im a cop just listen to me put down your gun, nobody else has to die." Leon said sternly as he raised his gun to Annette. -BANG- Clairs body toppled over , her grasp on sherry's hand instantly loosening, clairs lifeless body fell slumping over in the forest brush. -BANG- a second shot echoed threw the forest and Annette fell back into the bushes with one unearthly scream. "mommy!" Screamed Sherry as she ran to her mothers lifeless side. "im sorry.  
I dint have a choice..." whispered Leon almost in a trance as he lowered his gun. As sherry wept next to her mother Leon just stood there , just looking ahead not wanting to look down at what he had done.

'I was to late...to dam late...again , and now clairs dead, I could have saved her, this did not have to happen I told her,...nobody else had to die.' Leon thought as tears streamed down his cheaks. 'I have to worry about it latter I have to take care of sherry, I think I hear a car coming down the road ahead.' Leon thought as he grabbed sherry's hand and practically dragged her away from her mother , down the path towards the road. As they came to the road just in time , they saw a van screech to a stop. The van door slid open , and a older looking man yelled.  
"hey come on get in" . Leon dint even ask questions he just grabbed sherry and hoped in. 


	3. Chapter 3

The Burden Of Guilt.  
-----------------------------

(Later that night)

"You goanna be okay?" asked Chris. "yha sure im fine thanks Chris" Replied Leon who was sitting on a nicely made bed. He was in Chris's house. "Listen im sorry about Clair" Leon said sincerely choking back tears. "hey , I know its okay its not like its your fault." Chris said in a vary understanding tone. "Well alright listen were goanna get Umbrella back for this , but first you and sherry need a good night sleep , me ,you and Barry will start planning our next move tomorrow, okay." Said Chris. "okay , thanks for everything , ill see you tomorrow." said Leon. "alright you try get some sleep." Said Chris as he shut the bedroom door.

'Chris is such a nice guy' Thought Leon as he looked around , trying to avoid breaking out in a frenzy of tears. Leon found a picture on a night stand next to the bed. It was pretty obvious this was Chris's room.  
Leon grabbed up the picture to take a look. It was a picture of Clair and Chris, they were sitting together on a motorcycle , Clair was sitting in the front . They were both smiling and looking into the camera.  
Under the picture on the wooden frame were the words engraved "To my big brother with love from Clair"  
'o god...I did this, I did this to Chris , to Clair ,to sherry , to Jill , to Ada and here I sit relaxing in my own victims house.' Thought Leon as he broke down and began to sob. Even as a grown man , he never before felt as helpless as a little kid. As he cried his blurred vision caught the image of another picture.

'What kind of cruel punishment is this , put me in my victims house , filled with the pictures of the people i let die .' thought leon.

"Its that women Jill." Leon said as he wiped his eyes to see this picture better. It was a picture of that women Jill and Chris standing next to each other looking bravado. Chris had his arm around Jill, they were standing in front of the R.P.D . 'no, this cant be happening , I killed his girl friend to?' thought Leon. At this new realization it seemed all of Leons sadness was replaced with immense hate for himself.  
At this moment Leon had never hated any one as much as he hated himself at this one moment.  
'there's no way that I can let my self live after this, not with the death of 3 women on my hands, even 4 if I count mom,... I just couldn't grab her hand the current was to strong ...I just couldn't do it. , But my father was right I cant make excuses I have to take the blame for my own actions, I just thought that if I could be a cop I could change things , I could save people , but instead all I keep doing is killing people. no more im not goanna let it happen again.' Leon thought as his breathing became erratic , and he began to sweat , he could smell cigarette smoke.

Apparently Chris smokes. Leon looked around to find a pack of cigarettes sitting on the night stand. 'had this been left by Chris, did he think I would need one?' thought Leon as he took out a cigarette and lit it. He used to smoke as a teenager , and it felt so good to get the buzz again. 'another simple pleasure that im feeling that my victims will never feel again.' Thought Leon as he held his cigarette in his shaky hand. Tears again began to flow. Leon kept thinking widely as if trying to find some unseen plan to make it all better. But he knew there was no way to make things right again. There was no way to make the pain stop. 'If only things worked out like in those video games i use to play as a kid , when everyone got out alive at the end. But life's just not like that.' Thought Leon as he extinguished his cigarette on the nightstand table . As if it even mattered about the table . "im a monster , why should I care" Leon thought as he reached onto the nightstand and picked up his VP-70. 'I don't even disserve to go out with such a pain free death but its the least I could do.' Thought Leon as he clicked the safety off and pressed the cold barrel to his temple. Leon grimaced his face , his hand was shaking and the unsteady cold feeling of the barrel seemed to help his head ache. Several seconds went by , but Leon still sat there with the barrel to his head.

'No I cant , it wouldn't be right to Chris , Chris should do it , after all it was his sister and his girlfriend.' Leon thought as he headed for the door. It was late now and the living room was dark and silent except for the sound of Chris's snoring. "Chris wake up I need to tell you something" Leon said as he kneeled down before the couch that Chris was sleeping on. "huh...Leon?...What is it ...hold on." Chris said as he sat up right and clicked on a lamp. "what's wrong?" he asked. "Im so sorry Chris, I did it ." Leon said with a shaky voice. "What? did what?" asked Chris as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. "I let Clair die , It was me , im to blame." Leon said sternly. "hey don't do that to yourself Leon. There was nothing you could do." Chris said sympathetically. "No Chris don't do that , im a monster save your sympathy" Yelled Leon as he held out his VP-70 as to give it to Chris. "What? Leon get a hold of yourself your talking crazy , put that gun away , your not a monster ." yelled Chris trying to get threw to Leon. "Yes , I am ,I killed your girlfriend to , I...I shot her ...I shot Jill." Leon said almost unable to get the words out. "Jill is dead, no...o god.  
you did not do it im sure, there must have been some accident?" Chris said as his eyes darted about the room as if he was thinking rapidly. "No mistake I shot her in cold blood, what are you waiting for kill me.  
come on ... do it!" screamed Leon as he forced the VP-70 into Chris's hand. "No! ...I don't believe you your not thinking straight that's all." Replied Chris who was looking extremely confused at this point.

"Dam it Chris...just do it, do it for Clair ...do it for Jill, I...I stared down at Jill after I shot her she looked, so cute so innocent , so peaceful , she had such a silent look on her face, I even took her little purse thingy." Leon said trying as hard as possibly to stop from crying at the memory of what he did, he was trying as hard as he could not to have remorse in his voice. Chris sat there peering down at Leon with a strange look on his face, almost a look of disbelief. "Shut up , dam you , what the hell is wrong with you,  
you have something wrong with you, I don't know what you did but im not shooting you. Listen I have some tranquilizers I want you to take them they'll calm you down , at least in till we have this whole misunderstanding figured out." Chris said in a blank tone of voice as he got to his feet and headed to the bath room medicine cabinet. As he began walking fast paced towards the bathroom he heard Leons voice , It was the most remorseful voice he'd ever heard in his life , it dint even sound like Leon , it sounded otherworldly, "Im so sorry" Before Chris could even turn around a loud bang shook the house.

Chris dint even turn around to see , he already knew what had happened . 'that fool! why , ...he dint have to do that...' thought Chris as he changed direction and without looking over his shoulder he hesitated then headed to the Spare bedroom where sherry was sleeping . 'I cant believe she slept threw that' Chris thought to himself peering into the night light lit room. as he decided what to do next. 'Ill just have to clean up .  
I have no choice I cant let sherry see that. Chris walked back to the living room , It was more work than Chris expected , Leon had really done a number on himself. But Chris couldn't just bag him up and throw him outside. 'I should say something first , some words of closing.' thought Chris as he looked down at Leon. "Leon , Im sure there was some explanation , I just don't understand why you did this , all you've accomplished by this , is that you've passed on your Burden of Guilt to me." Chris said as he felt his first tears build up since when his parents died. Chris worked threw the night cleaning up Leons mess , determined that sherry would not have to see any more gore.

Epilogue

Chris had told sherry that Leon had gotten up early and gone back to his home . Although Chris was pretty sure sherry dint believe him , it was the best thing he could come up with to say. Eventually Chris realized that him and Barry couldn't do anything right away , so they enrolled sherry into foster care . The two of them went on planning the demise of umbrella . Even to this day the knowledge of what really happened at Raccoon city is still covered up by umbrella , and Chris and Barry are still trying to have there revenge.  
Umbrella continues there experiments even to this day , however due to all the negative publicity they changed there company name to Equate , And without all the negative publicity they began opening a world wide franchise called CVS.

The End.

Seems that some people just cant let go ,  
instead of trying to justifie there actions ,  
they try to blame themselves due to guilt,  
they just cant axcept that not every thing that happends is a reaction to what you did or dint do. 


End file.
